Why Lack of Confidence Causes Anxiety — and How to Overcome It

Confidence. It’s one of those things that everyone wants but not everyone has. If you’re someone who struggles with low confidence, you’ll know how much it can hold you back. Whether it's speaking up in meetings, saying “no” to things that drain you, or just believing you’re good enough — a lack of confidence can show up in sneaky ways. The thing is, it doesn't just hold you back, it often causes anxiety.

Where Does Lack of Confidence Come From?

You weren’t born lacking confidence. It usually has its roots in:

• Past Experiences: Negative comments from parents, teachers, or peers stick with you. If you were criticised or compared to others, you probably started questioning your worth.

• Unrealistic Standards: Thanks to the media, we’re constantly bombarded with an expectation of how life should be. It’s hard to feel confident when you’re measuring yourself against an unrealistic expectation.

• Fear of Failure: If you’ve been told it’s better to play it safe than risk failing, you might avoid opportunities where you could shine — which only makes you feel worse.

• Limiting Beliefs: “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m too old.” “I always mess things up.” Sound familiar? These thoughts sit in the background, running things without you even realising it.

  
  

Why Low Confidence and Anxiety Go Hand in Hand

Confidence and anxiety are best mates — but not in a good way. When you don’t believe in yourself, you’re more likely to:

• Overthink Everything: You replay conversations in your head, worry about what people think, and beat yourself up for not getting it "perfect."

• Avoid Opportunities: Whether it’s going for a promotion or simply speaking up, low confidence makes you avoid anything where you might fail.

• Seek Constant Approval: If you don’t trust your own judgment, you’ll keep looking for reassurance from others — which can be exhausting.

• Experience Physical Symptoms: Anxiety isn’t just in your head. Low confidence can trigger racing thoughts, a pounding heart, and that horrible knot in your stomach.

  
  

Becoming Aware of the Thoughts Behind Low Confidence

If you want to change how you feel, you’ve got to start with how you think. The thoughts you have about yourself shape your reality — but the problem is, most of them run on autopilot.

Ask yourself:

• What do I believe about myself?

• Where did those beliefs come from?

• Are they actually true — or just opinions I picked up along the way?

Once you start noticing these thoughts, you can challenge them. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m terrible at public speaking,” ask, “Is that really true? What evidence do I have for this?”

How to Change Those Confidence-Killing Thoughts

Rewiring your brain doesn’t happen overnight, but with consistency, you can absolutely shift those old beliefs. Here’s where to start:

1. Challenge Your Inner Critic:

   • Write down your most common negative thoughts.

   • Ask yourself: Would I say this to a friend? If not, rewrite it into something kinder.

2. Use Daily Affirmations:

   • Repeating positive affirmations might feel cheesy, but it works.

   • Try saying things like, “I am enough,” or “I trust myself” every day.

3. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone:

   • Confidence doesn’t come from thinking; it comes from doing.

   • Start with small wins — like speaking up in a meeting or setting a boundary — and build from there.

4. Practice Self-Compassion:

   • Instead of beating yourself up when things go wrong, treat yourself like you would a friend.

   • Remember: Progress, not perfection.

5. Get Support:

   • Sometimes you need a little extra help to rewrite those deep-rooted beliefs.

   • Coaching, EFT, and hypnotherapy can help you work through the root cause of low confidence, not just the symptoms.

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The Bottom Line

Low confidence isn’t who you are — it’s a pattern of thinking you’ve learned. The good news? If you learned it, you can unlearn it. By becoming aware of those limiting thoughts and taking small, consistent steps to challenge them, you can start building the confidence you long for and deserve.

If you’re ready to ditch anxiety and feel more confident in who you are, I can help. From coaching to EFT and clinical hypnotherapy, I work with you to rewire those old beliefs so you can finally break free.

Want even more? Check out my Anxiety Freedom Hub membership programme, grab my Freedom from Anxiety Journal, or tune into the Mindful Mutterings podcast for tips on transforming your mindset.

If you would like to chat about how I can support you, please book a free consultation today.

Chris.